That can't be right
by cyndaquilka
Summary: What if a kid arrived before their parents got married?


After the battle dust settled down, Kjelle breathed a sigh of relief. Against the odds that seemed to favor dishonorable scumbags, she came back victorious from her duel with Cassius. All thanks to the group of strangers that risked their necks to help her avenge her master.

"Thank you," she said to their commander, shaking the man's hand. "You saved my life out there."

"Don't mention it," replied Chrom with a smile. "It's always good to run into a strong ally. In fact, I would be honored if you agreed to join us."

Kjelle was about to say no when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Kjelle, you're alive! I'm so glad."

Next moment, she found herself being hugged by Lucina, a friend she got separated from years ago. It turned out that the man who wished to recruit Kjelle was the exalt of Ylisse. The very man the girls traveled to the past for, the one they swore to protect.

Lucina's father.

This meant that her own parents had to be around here somewhere. Kjelle couldn't wait to meet them. Having excused herself, she walked around the camp, glancing left and right to spot a familiar face.

It was a voice, though, that caught her attention.

"Hell of a fight, am I right?"

The girl jumped up. She knew who this voice belonged to.

Kjelle sped up, turned around the corner, and came to a sudden halt.

There she was. A tall, muscular woman in a red armor, leaning against the crates, talking to her comrades. The girl couldn't believe her own eyes.

It was really her!

"It's you!" she shouted without thinking, approaching the woman as fast as her heavy armor let her.

Sully looked from Stahl to Kjelle.

"What did you call me?" she asked in the no-nonsense tone her daughter knew so well.

The girl was doing her best to keep herself together.

"I haven't seen you in forever, but this _has_ to be you! You're a paladin, right? And you're fighting with Chrom. Gods, I can't believe I've finally found you!"

Confused, Sully just stared back at the young knight.

"No idea what you're talking about."

Kjelle took a steadying breath. She figured it would be better to start over.

"I'm sorry, this will probably sound a little crazy to you," she said in one breath. Sully gave her a look. "Alright, a lot crazy. But please, listen to what I have to say."

The girl waited, gazing expectantly at her mother. Until the woman lost her patience.

"Well? I'm listening. Spit it out, kiddo, whatever that is."

A little uncertain, Kjelle glanced from Sully to Stahl, whose attention was also on her. In the corner of her eye, she saw that Lucina was waving vigorously in her direction. Kjelle ignored her. The princess had already reunited with her parents, now it was her turn.

"I'm your child," she said as calmly as she could.

Muttering broke out among the Shepherds that stood nearest.

Stahl was the first one to recover from the shock. "Sully, you have a daughter? Why have you never told me?"

Sully's face expressed irritation.

"Can't you see her?" she asked, pointing at the girl. "She can't be mine, she's like Ricken's age."

"I'm your daughter from the future," Kjelle specified, now quite nervous. "I mean, I am your future daughter. The one you don't yet have."

Stahl's face brightened.

"You mean I'm gonna get laid?"

"Shut up!" Sully cut him off. Then, she addressed Kjelle. "Look, you can't be my kid. Sorry you got the wrong woman. Go ask the other paladins."

Kjelle's face fell. The first encounter with her mother didn't meet her expectations. She cleared her throat.

"There's no mistake. I have a ring to prove it."

From her pocket, the girl pulled out an engagement ring that looked old and rusty. Sully took it between her fingers to examine it.

"Nice ring," the woman commented, "but it's not mine."

"It has to be yours. Father gave it to you when he asked you to marry him."

The kid was stubborn, Sully had to give her that. She almost felt sorry for the girl.

"I'm not married," she said, folding her arms. "I don't even have a boyfriend."

"W-what?!"

From the definite note in the woman's voice, Kjelle could tell that she didn't believe her one bit. Lucky for her, Stahl was apparently much easier to convince.

"Don't deny what's in front of you, Sully," he said, putting a hand on the paladin's forearm. "She's our future daughter."

"Shut it, will ya?" said Sully warningly, shaking his hand off. She turned back to Kjelle. "Come on, can you imagine that I would ever end up with… him? Ewww…"

Stahl glared at Sully, clearly offended by her statement.

"No!" said Kjelle, waving her hands for emphasis. "You misunderstood me. This man's not my father."

Several pairs of wide-open eyes stared back at her.

"I'm not?"

"He's not?"

Kjelle shook her head.

"Who is it, then?" Sully's curiosity took the better of her. For a moment, she seemed to forget that she didn't believe any of this crap.

The sudden attention made Kjelle feel uneasy. She couldn't recall either of her parents' names. All she had was a blurry picture and a faint idea of who they were before they died.

"He's an archer. Blue hair, fancy clothes, unusual speech patterns."

Everyone's sight landed on Virion, who was sitting twenty steps away, polishing his bow.

"Ruffles?!" Sully nearly choked.

The nearby women started whispering among themselves. The men whistled and clapped the very confused archer on the shoulder. Kjelle had to raise her voice in order to be heard.

"Father told me about the first time he proposed to you. You were alone in the forest when he found you. You didn't pay him any attention, so he said something like this." The girl's posture and facial expression changed to best imitate Virion. She was damn convincing. " _Hold, my dear lady! Life might be long, but my attraction to you is−_ "

Kjelle stopped when she felt an iron grip on her forearm. Next thing she knew, she was being dragged by Sully towards a nearby tent.

"In, now! And better tell me all the shit you know!"

Lucina hid her face in her hands, shaking her head in disbelief. Stahl was sitting where he was left, looking crestfallen. Chrom couldn't comprehend what had just happened.

"Oh, brother," he said, scratching his head.

* * *

Sully found Virion in the far end of the camp. Apparently, even people like him could get fed up with all the attention and seek solitude. When she approached him, the archer looked as if he wanted to flee. But he didn't.

"So, a daughter, huh? I'd be damned!" she said, wasting no time for small talk. "Guess you weren't shitting when you told me you were my fated hero."

Virion furrowed his brows, seemingly offended.

"These delicate lips would never tell a lie to you, milady! Such deed is unworthy of a true gentleman like myself. Why would you ever accuse this fine man of spreading deception and misinformation?"

Sully raised her eyebrow skeptically.

"Oh, I dunno! Maybe because you're hitting on every Shepherd with a pretty face, including Libra?"

Virion shivered at the unpleasant memory.

"I beg you, my love, do not misinterpret a moment of weakness for hints of unfaithfulness or disloyalty. For this heartbroken fool was simply seeking solace to come in terms with your cruel rejection."

His answer surprised her.

"Huh? What did I do?"

"Nothing besides ripping a heart from this muscular chest and trampling it with your shapely legs."

The woman chuckled at the remark about muscularity. "Aren't all the girls giving you similar crap?"

"Yes, my dear Sully, but I could not care less about the words of common flings. The heart of this gentle lover has always belonged to you."

Sully blinked, baffled by his flowery nonsense even more than usual. She always assumed Virion was just shitting around. No man had ever seen her as a lady. No man would ever dare to _treat_ her like one, she made sure of that.

Yet, this crazy man did. He always had. Despite the fact, or maybe because of that, Sully never took him seriously, never considered his speeches to express his genuine feelings towards her. He was no Prince Charming, not by a long shot. But hell, did that really matter?

She put her hands on her hips.

"Well then, I guess there's no point in beating around the bush. We might just get it over with."

Virion looked a little scared but hopeful.

"Get over with what, pray tell?"

Sully rolled her eyes with irritation. She grabbed the archer's front and pulled him down for a kiss. She was sure her message was clear enough, but, being a man of many words, Virion simply had to ask.

"Does it mean you finally accept this gentleman to be your worthy suitor?"

A wide smirk appeared on the woman's face.

"Let's not get crazy here, Ruffles. I'm not agreeing to anything until I see a ring on that finger. At least twice as fancy, mind you, as the one that girl, Kjelle, showed me."

"I fear I am on a clear disadvantage, as this was you who dominated her time. Although, I too would heartily embrace the nearest opportunity to talk to this fascinating young lady."

With dreamy eyes, the man glanced towards the center of the camp. Their fellow soldiers were celebrating today's victory. He'd surely find Kjelle among the crowd. If he was stupid enough to show his face there.

"It'll have to wait," said Sully sharply. "Don't you have better things to do?"

She walked away, doing her best to look seductive. She must have forgotten some crucial element, though, as she was forced to add, "You coming or not?" before Virion understood.

"Yes, milady," said the man with a smile. He caught up with Sully and put his arm around her, this time without fear that it would get smacked right back at him.


End file.
